Attending to Your Guests
(or How to Be the Perfect Hostess)
The modern family has been slowly moving apart. Well, at least geographically. In the not-so-distant past, extended families often lived within the same neighborhood, perhaps even the same house. But while jobs and school take family and friends far away from one another, weddings bring everyone back together again for a few days of reconnecting, reminiscing, and a joyous joining of families.
As the hostess of this celebration, it is important that you not only try to carve out a bit of time to spend with each of your guests and find special ways to make them feel welcomed and comfortable, but also give them a little bit of the lay of the land. Below are recommendations for some small gestures that will go a long way in making your guests feel at home.
First of all, make sure to secure a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. Depending on the size of the wedding, you may want to choose several hotels and inns at varying price ranges so folks have some choices. Often wedding parties will enjoy a significant discount when booking many rooms; call ahead to hotels to find out what sort of discount they offer.
The Outer Banks is also such a special vacation destination that some of your guests may want to weave your wedding into a weeklong vacation. With so many rental homes available here it may be possible to assemble a group of homes in the same neighborhood to house your guests. Families or old college friends can all stay together in one beautiful home. You may be able to secure a group discount if you coordinate the rental of several homes using one vacation rental agency.
Upon arrival, having something special waiting for your guests in their rooms is a well-deserved and appreciated surprise. Adjust for your budget, but it can be something as simple as home-baked cookies with a nice note from you, a bottle of local wine, fresh flowers, or even a gift basket. A particularly luxurious gift option would be to hire a massage therapist for a few hours on the arrival day to offer complimentary travel-stress-relieving chair massages for your guests.
Gift baskets can get really creative. Some ideas are a basket filled with items to help the weary traveler, such as foot massage lotion, shower scrub, a lavender scented candle, and if budget allows, a massage gift certificate from one of the local spas. A hangover-helper basket will clue your guests in to the anticipated fun to come. Prepare them to dance the night away with some herbal energy drinks, or Emergen-C packs to make sure they are fully hydrated, and of course some pain relievers and Gatorade to quickly get them back into form the next day. A little note with some fun hangover remedies can add a little playfulness. You can also make a gift basket that is especially Outer Banks in theme. Just find a colorful sand pail and fill it with saltwater taffy, waterproof sunscreen and flip-flops.
If your out-of-town guests are bringing children, be sure to have some coloring books and activities on hand to keep them occupied as well. A nice gesture would be to have a list of available babysitters that are “on call” for the weekend, and definitely a sitter for the reception, even if it’s just to help keep the kids occupied on-site so the parents can unwind.
Put together a welcome pack chock-full of information. Organizing all the important details of the wedding is especially helpful to visiting guests. An itinerary with the times and locations of all the important events and bride and groom sighting opportunities will go a long way to helping guests relax (no worrying about where they need to be and when). Be sure to include travel times between locations, as well as the phone numbers, addresses and directions to the venues. Your phone numbers are helpful too in case questions come up, or perhaps you can designate a friend or family member who is familiar with the area to be a go-to person for questions.
Also, be sure to let guests know if they will have significant down time. For instance an afternoon wedding will ensure time for a morning round of golf, or if there is a large window of time between the ceremony and the reception, you may offer suggestions for activities, or suggest they return to their rooms to rest up.
Also included in the welcome packet can be a map of the area and ideas for activities. Make recommendations for great places for drinks and meals, personalizing the list with your favorite selections from these establishments. A list of don’t miss “bests” is fun too - the best place to catch the sunset, the best crab feast, the best martini, the best breakfast. The more personalized you can make this package, the more your guests will enjoy it. If guests are turning the wedding into a mini-vacation, be sure to include options for evening entertainment like live music, special themed nights at local eateries, etc.
Since the Outer Banks is an outdoor paradise and loaded with history, there is no shortage of things to do. The Visitor’s Center and the Chamber of Commerce are both good places to collect information and flyers. Luckily there is something for every activity level, from sunbathing, to deep-sea fishing or surfcasting, kayak tours, golfing, bird watching, nature walks and more. The Lost Colony and Wright Memorial give some insight into the history of the Outer Banks and the North Carolina Aquarium in Manteo is great for kids or rainy days. There are all sorts of lessons available, from yoga classes (group or private), to hang-gliding, surfing, or kite surfing.
Whatever the collection of goodies you leave for your guests, be sure and top it off with a handwritten note of appreciation to them for coming so far to share this day with you.
Also, be sure to make a real effort to spend some quality time with each of your guests. As they are spending so much of their personal time getting to you, not to mention the expense of travel, this will mean a lot to them. The more events you have planned allow you more time to spend with each person individually. Perhaps a friend can host a casual BBQ on the first night of arrival to give everyone some time to unwind, mingle, and get to know each other. You could also invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner. For you it’s a few minutes of quality heart to heart with far-flung friends and relatives, and hopefully the time to begin to get to know some of the extended members of your new family. While it may seem obvious, remember to ask about their lives. As the bride and groom, it’s natural to get stuck in a mode of it all being “about the wedding”. Give yourselves a break and get a glimpse into the lives of your loved ones, too.
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