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Get the Groove on:
Music for the Ceremony and Reception
The tone you set with music, whether it’s from a DJ, a live band or your own IPod, is one of the ways to personalize your wedding. And whether you opt for sophisticated classical music, hip jazz or swing, traditional wedding favorites, heavy metal ballads or bluegrass, your music choice will set the tone of the celebration.
Ceremony Music
This is the music that’s played from the time your guests arrive at the ceremony site to the time you take your joyous walk down the aisle with your new husband. The ceremony site is something to consider when choosing your musicians. If you’re marrying in a church, you can use the traditional organ or piano that’s already on hand, or you can hire your own musicians. Marrying outdoors, on the beach for example, presents a few more challenges. The roar of the wind and the waves on the beach can be very overpowering, so keep that in mind. One instrument that can almost always be heard above the thundering surf is the trumpet. Instruments for a beach wedding that can be played without extra cords and amplification are the guitar, the violin, and the flute among others. Ask your ceremony musicians if they’ve played many beach weddings, what the sound quality is, and if they need to bring extra sound equipment to the site.
Among the many traditional ceremony songs are the Bridal March, Canon in D, Ave Maria, and Trumpet Voluntary. But the music you play for your ceremony is, of course, up to you. You might have a favorite song you’d like played as you walk down the aisle. Some of the more unique songs we’ve heard played during wedding ceremonies are the Hawaiian version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo Ole and U2’s “Beautiful Day.” But before you get your heart set on any particular song or instrument, check with your ceremony site to see what their guidelines are on musicians and the music they play.
Reception Music
When planning your playlist, consider that there are a few distinct time periods during your reception.
Cocktail Hour During the first hour or so of your reception, the music should be light and non-intrusive, allowing your guests to transition from the romantic ceremony to the social setting. While the bride, groom and their families have their photos taken, the reception guests will mingle, sip a drink and nibble on hors d’eouvres. This is the time for background music that facilitates easy conversation among your guests. If it’s in your budget, hire a snazzy jazz quartet or piano player and singer. Or, have the musicians from your ceremony play classical music for the first hour of your reception, before the band takes over. Another option is to have one or two members of the reception band play acoustic music for the first hour.
First Romantic Dances This is optional. At some weddings, those first dances are slow dances reserved for the bride and groom and their loved ones. Other brides prefer to skip tradition and jump right into the party.
Party Time Whether you hire a DJ or a band, the reception music should have a beginning, middle and end. Supposing your reception is going to include dancing, in the beginning the DJ or band should warm up the guests, building their enthusiasm slowly. Savvy musicians and DJs know exactly what tunes to play to get people on the dance floor. The music should die down a bit during events like the cake-cutting and bouquet-tossing, so that the attention focuses on the bride and groom.
The Last Song A well-chosen last song will leave a lasting impression in your guests’ memories. The happy couple may want to choose another special song for one last dance among all their friends and family.
With that in mind, here are some tips for hiring DJs and bands.
Know What You’re Getting. Go see and hear the band or DJ you’re thinking of hiring in person. Make sure you like their style.
Choose Professionals. Musicians and DJs who do a lot of weddings will know exactly what to do. If you’re trying to save money by getting a friend to play CDs, consider doing that for part of the time and then bringing in a DJ during the height of the party. A professional can really get a crowd going with the right music. The Outer Banks has a wealth of professional musicians who are used to playing wedding ceremonies and receptions.
Communicate. Tell the DJ what type of music you like – funk, swing, ’80s or Top-40. That way, he or she can play mostly what you like, with a few crowd-pleasers thrown in.
Review the Song List. Before the party, have the band leader or DJ send you their song list. Highlight the song you want to hear, or cross out the ones you definitely do not want played.
Pacing. A good DJ or band leader will read the crowd and pace the music accordingly. Also, be sure to communicate to this person a timeline of reception events so that he’ll know what to expect.
Encourage Dancing. The DJ or band leader is responsible for getting people on the dance floor, and experienced musicians know just the right songs to get the wallflowers out there. If you’re worried about people not dancing, get a small dance floor. Then it will always be full.
Don’t Overpower. A larger band isn’t necessarily better at a wedding. The volume of the band shouldn’t overpower conversation. Ask the reception hall manager what type of band works best in his or her space.
Mix It Up. If you want everyone to dance, the music should be multi-generational – a variety of songs that appeal to all ages and a mix of slow and fast songs.
Can You Play the Chicken Dance? Decide before the party starts whether or not you want your DJ or band to take requests. If you don’t trust your friends’ and relatives’ musical tastes, ask the band leader or DJ to tactfully say, “I’ll try to work it in.” On the other hand, if requests will get people dancing, let it happen.
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What the Bride Needs to Know: DJs and Musicians
What type of music do you specialize in playing?
Will you be able to learn a special song or two?
Do you charge by the hour or by the event?
Do you have an overtime policy if we want you to play longer than we originally planned?
What are the overtime fees? (Make sure the band or DJ knows exactly who is authorized to ask them to keep playing longer.)
Can I see your playlist?
Do you have a less expensive rate for a weekday event or an off-season event?
How will you and/or the musicians be dressed?
How much set-up time do you need?
What are your space, electrical and equipment requirements?
How many breaks do you need and for how long? Are you willing to take breaks in rotation so that the music is always playing?
What type of recorded music will you play during the breaks?
Will the musicians be the same people featured on the demo or in the audition video (or that you saw in the band)?
Can I get a list of references?
They’re Playing Our Song
Struggling to pick the perfect first dance song? Trying to walk the tight line between romantic and over-the-top cheesy? Take a cue from these tried-and-true favorites.
“At Last” Etta James
“Can’t Help Falling in Love” Elvis Presley
“Close to You” The Carpenters
“Forever and Ever, Amen” Randy Travis
“Embraceable You” Nat King Cole
“From This Moment” Shania Twain & Brian White
“Here and Now” Luther Vandross
“It Had to Be You” Harry Connick, Jr.
“In My Life” The Beatles
“The Best is Yet to Come” Frank Sinatra
“Unforgettable” Nat King Cole
“We’ve Only Just Begun” The Carpenters
“Wonderful World” Louis Armstrong
“You Are So Beautiful” Joe Cocker
“Fly Me to the Moon” Frank Sinatra
“I Get a Kick Out of You” Frank Sinatra
“I’m in the Mood for Love” Ella Fitzgerald
“How Sweet It Is to Be Loved by You” James Taylor
“Love Will Keep Us Alive” The Eagles
“You’re Just Too Good to Be True” Lauryn Hill
“True Companion” Marc Cohn
“Come Away with Me” Norah Jones
“Through the Years” Kenny Rogers
“In Your Eyes” Peter Gabriel
“Could Not Ask for More” Edwin McCain
(List complied with help from theknot.com and ourweddingsongs.com)
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