Groom’s Guide to Wedding Planning 2020

Rebecca OrrGrooms3 Comments

grooms guide wedding planning

Without a doubt, your wedding day is one of the biggest events in your life. To get there requires a lot of forethought and planning between you and your fiancé. Indeed, there are important groom responsibilities. Love, understanding, and compromise should go hand-in-hand (pun intended) into your joint decisions.

groom hidden message

Pullen Weddings

Don’t think of wedding planning as daunting; view it as a way of working together as a couple, of honing your skills of compromise and togetherness. But always remember, no matter how hectic, harried, and stressed you both get, the major objective is to support and love each other during this process of creating your event.

Traditional Groom Responsibilities:

Groom Checklist for you to check off as you go

Groom Suit & Apparel
Groom’s Entourage and Apparel
Obtain Marriage License
Order the Wedding Bands
Organize the Rehearsal Dinner
Transportation for the Wedding Party
Hiring an Officiant
Groomsmen Gifts
Selecting Ushers

As you’ve probably seen, many contemporary grooms are getting increasingly involved in wedding planning to help share the load of the event planning and to have their personality reflected as a part of the event. Modern marriage is a true partnership, and it begins with the wedding.

groom checklist
Groom Beach Styles in article below. Photo by Sarah D'Ambra Photography

Besides the traditional, these are also important specific groom duties:

Plan out the guest list with your bride

In providing a list of the friends and family you want at the wedding, the groom is also responsible for finding out whom your parents would like to invite (with correct salutations and addresses). Additionally, you need to obtain all of your own friends’ addresses that your bride wouldn’t have in her own contact list.

Tracking down missing RSVPs

It’s also your responsibility to track down missing RSVPs from your side of the guest list (and get their dinner orders, if applicable, while you’re at it). Both you and your bride should each do the follow-ups for your own half of the list.

groomsmen obx

Sarah D’Ambra Photography

Selecting and overseeing your best man and groomsmen

While you as the groom choose your own groomsmen, you also need to make sure to officially invite them, keep them on track for suit fittings, or, if casual, coordinate the attire style and colors, and notify them of all details about wedding activities and schedules. You can ask your best man to help coordinate, but it’s definitely on you to make sure things are checked off when it comes to your half of the wedding party.

groomsmen gifts

Pullen Weddings

Include your future Father-in-Law

More than likely, this day is an emotional moment for the father of the bride. As a groom, you should be sensitive to this and include him in the conversation and behind the scenes activity. Ask your groomsmen to keep the jokes and guy-talk to a minimum. Everyone one must respect the fact that your soon to be father-in-law may be experiencing mixed emotions.

Dealing with your family

Any family drama on the groom’s side is to be dealt with by you, Mr. Groom, before it escalates into something major. If your sisters overstep about the bridesmaids’ dresses, or your mother or father is driving the bride crazy, it’s you to be the one to shut down the issue and protect your bride from the stress. You’re the one to solve these problems, just as your bride does the same, if need be, with her side of the family.

Learning to dance—and practicing

Many couples want to learn a choreographed dance for their wedding. Sign up for dance lessons at least six months in advance and make your weekly dance lesson a fun night out. If you feel out of your element in a dance studio, the most important thing is to bring a good attitude and not take yourself too seriously. Put in the work and you’ll be “dancing with the stars” before you know it. Your bride will appreciate your sweat and effort, and you’re making another memory with her.

groom responsibilities

Lori Douglas Photography

Staying on top of the rehearsal dinner

Check in with the officiate and make sure both sets of parents and all wedding-party members know when and where to show up. Taking the whole rehearsal dinner off your bride’s plate is a huge gesture, and you will greatly reduce her stress.

Writing and practicing your vows

If you as a couple decided to write your own vows, you should take the time to write heartfelt, meaningful vows well before the day of the wedding. Put the feelings that make her special to you on paper: why do you love her so much? Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with her? How is your life better with her? This is not a last-minute kind of task. And whether the vows are traditional or you wrote them yourself, you should practice reading or reciting them aloud beforehand.

best groom vows

Pullen Weddings

Getting a haircut

Getting a trim is key, but make sure it’s not the day before; if you get your haircut that close to the wedding, there’s no time for the trim to grow out if it’s too close. Aim for two weeks before.

Styling your wedding-day look

Not only do you need to pick out your suit/outfit, you need to make sure it fits the overall style of the wedding. The most important thing for you, as a couple, to consider when planning your attire is the style and feel of the wedding. For a traditional, more formal event, a classic tuxedo with a notch, shawl, or peak lapel is ideal. Slim-fit silhouettes have been most popular lately. For a less traditional option, shades of gray are very popular. Destination or beach weddings call for a lighter gray, tan, or even a jacket-less tuxedo.

You’ll also need to put the finishing touches on your look with a perfectly folded pocket square, cuff links, a wild cummerbund, or fun socks for an extra pop of color. Accessories make all the difference!

groomsmen kilts

Sarah D’Ambra Photography

Making a toast

As the groom, you should be prepared to make toasts (and respond to toasts) at the rehearsal dinner and the reception. Typically the groom does a thank-you toast for all of the wedding guests at the reception after the wedding ceremony. Your speech should be heartfelt, yet short and sweet, and make it memorable. It will set the tone for the rest of the festivities.

Giving your bride a thoughtful gift the day of the wedding

Traditionally, the groom gives the bride a wedding gift of some kind (and vice versa). You’re responsible for getting your bride something special, making sure it’s wrapped and has a heartfelt note attached to it. You two can exchange gifts the night before the wedding. Furthermore, you can have a gift delivered to the bride while she’s getting ready on the actual wedding day. It doesn’t have to be lavish, but something thoughtful like a letter and champagne will help make a special day even more magical.

Dancing with the mothers and bridesmaids

In addition to your first dance with the bride, you should ask your own mother for a dance and your new mother-in-law, too. You should also dance with the bridesmaids, as well as the maid/matron of honor.

Planning the honeymoon

Traditional wedding etiquette holds that one of the groom’s responsibilities is planning the honeymoon as a surprise for his bride. Some couples, of course, want to take on the honeymoon planning together. Whether it’s a joint effort or you’re on your own, honeymoon planning is definitely one of your duties. And even if your bride is involved, you can still go out of your way to plan fun excursions and dates she won’t know about until you get there. Be her Prince of Romance!

Saying “I love you”—often

All through this anxiety-filled phase of your relationship, leave little notes everywhere for your bride. Post-its, chalkboard doodles, slips of paper under fridge magnets. This is the time to be romantic (and, yes, even cheesy)! Simple “I love you” will keep your bride smiling no matter how stressful wedding planning gets!

groom styles

Outer Banks Productions

Last reminder about groom responsibilities

Show up timely and sober (and not hung over) to each of the events of your pre-wedding and wedding. Groom role is about graciousness, love, and support for yourself, your bride, your families and your friends. Celebration and festivities are great for all, but recognize your limitations for the benefit of all who are depending on you.

Overall, groom wedding planning can be a fun and adventurous challenge. When it comes to groom responsibilities, the take away from this experience is that pulling your weight and offering a wealth of love and support will help you not just with wedding planning, but also with creating a lasting and beautiful marriage. You two made it through this stressful phase, now sliding into marital bliss should be smooth!

funny groom

Pullen Weddings

Beachy Groom Styles

Beachin’ style for your special day with your fiancé is as special as the Outer Banks itself. Just picture the sand between your toes, the wind in your hair, and the sunshine warming your hearts and souls, sharing your wedding with your family and friends. It just doesn’t get much better than this place for your big event.

Groomsmen beach styles combine class with fun and some flair. Furthermore, on the Outer Banks, style here allows you to be you. Typically, couples are attracted to the Outer Banks as a wedding destination because they love the beach lifestyle; casual, and laid back. Now that can range from wedding formal attire of vest, open collar shirt, and combined with rolled up pant legs and bare feet to linen trousers/capris with deep pastel shirts and sandals to “Untucked” shirts and linen shorts in coordinated color schemes. Bowties are strictly optional.

groomsmen beach styles

Pullen Weddings

According to the experts, choose the color of your suit that will match the main colors of the wedding. Pastel tones will stand up to the powdery sand and blue sea. Light yellow, green, and blue are perfect pastel tones to wear for you and your groomsmen, if you want to make a statement. If your tastes are traditional stick to all-white suits or black tuxes.

groomsmen socks

Sarah D’Ambra Photography

Groom Styles with Patterns or Prints

2020 Groom style trends have shown beachy groom outfits to entail more of a statement. You can enhance your overall look with a nice print, embroidery or pattern. Brides and their bridesmaids are not the only ones who wear print to weddings. Modern grooms can also opt for loud patterns and subtle prints. If this fits your personality, consider suits boasting pin stripes or those that have a soft, woven texture. They make traditional suits look much more interesting. If you have an outgoing personality and like loud outfits, wear a tie or a shirt in a bright color or with a big print. Such clothes will perfectly fit in a beachy setting, and you will look fabulous against a scenic background in your wedding pictures.

find style keith richards
Outer Banks Productions

More On Groom Beach Styles

Choose lightweight fabric: A wedding ceremony can be an unnerving event and the last thing you want is to experience extra heat. Keep cool by choosing a lightweight outfit made of fabrics like linen or cotton.

Find the right fit: On your big day, you will definitely want to feel comfortable, that’s why you need to make sure the cut of your suit is not very tight. Many suits have wide leg pants. A relaxed, breezy top with short or three quarter sleeves will give you a casual look and provide comfort.

groom beach style

Outer Banks Productions

Choose the right style: When you are choosing beach wedding attire, as the groom, the most important aspect to consider is its style. If you are going for a casual look, stick to a two-button jacket or a button down shirt, vest and tie. A traditional full tuxedo look may be too heavy and hot for a beach wedding. Or if the look you and your fiancé are going for is uber casual, a cotton or linen shirt and shorts with sandals or flips will be perfect.

The sun, sand, and salt water wedding venue of your dreams on the lip of the Atlantic awaits your arrival. The suggestions above will help you find your own beachin’ style for you and your groomsmen. Express yourself!

fun groomsmen socks

Outer Banks Productions

Top feature image by Katiedid Photography

3 Comments on “Groom’s Guide to Wedding Planning 2020”

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